Two Buzzed Biotics
by Gamerqueer
Summary: At Shepard's party on the Citadel, neither Jack nor Miranda can get intoxicated (for reasons I made up because I can). While drinking together to get as buzzed as possible, Miranda decides she wants Jack in a way no one would have expected...unless you are a rabid Jackanda shipper like me of course. Rated M for graphic smuttiness and language especially in chapter 2.
1. Chapter 1

Jack's body buzzed with the effects of ryncol, a hard-hitting krogan liquor. Shepard's party had actually turned out to be half decent. Good booze, good music, and Jack hesitated to admit it even to herself…but good company. Shepard and her crew would be heading out next week to implement a plan involving something called the Crucible to try to save the universe from the Reapers. Since Jack wasn't on Shepard's crew this time around, the details were a bit cloudy. She didn't know if the entire galaxy would be Reaper food, piles of ashes, or celebrating freedom by this time next week, and there was no point in worrying about it now. Now, all that mattered was getting as buzzed as her eezo-infused-Cerberus-manipulated body would let her get. Fortunately—and unfortunately—she wasn't alone in her inability to get plastered: Miranda, the genetically engineered former Cerberus officer, could also not get intoxicated due to her perfected genetic makeup.

Jack sat on a barstool, cracking her tattooed knuckles as Miranda stood across from her. Another argument had been set ablaze.

Miranda's brows furrowed. "You have no idea what I'm capable of," she growled.

Jack leaned back and cracked another knuckle. "You're a spoiled rich girl cheerleader."

"Victim."

"Test tube clone princess."

A slightly intoxicated Shepard overheard the growing argument and walked over. "Ladies, I see that we've all gotten enough to drink…"

"Relax Shepard," interjected Jack, "I'm not gonna smear the walls with her this time."

"And I couldn't possibly think of anything worse to do to her than that haircut," added Miranda.

Jack scowled and poured herself some turian brandy. Shepard leaned forward, putting her elbows on the bar, a devious smile forming on her face. "Honestly, I thought it might help if you two just kissed and got it over with!"

"What?!" gasped Miranda. Jack choked on her drink.

Shepard crossed her arms, eying the two biotics. "I mean, this is all just sexual tension right? Two powerful biotics, forceful personalities, confident in their sexuality…" her speech rambled on.

Jack grunted. "You are shitting me." She sent a light wave of energy Shepard's direction, pushing her away.

"Oh my god," muttered Miranda as she covered her reddening face in her hands.

"You are a terrible human being, Shepard. I need another drink." The tattooed woman downed the rest of the brandy before pouring herself some mysterious, glowing asari liquor. Shepard grinned, clearly taking it as a compliment, then wandered off to check on the rest of her guests.

Miranda still had one hand hiding her red face. "One for me too. No ice."

Jack poured a glass for Miranda then ran her hands along the buzzed hair on the sides of her head. "What're you blushing about over there, cheerleader?"

Miranda took a quick swig of the glowing liquid. "Blushing? Oh you must be mistaken. I think I'm just getting a little intoxicated." It was not a total lie. She did feel slightly less put together than usual.

"Bull-SHIT," replied Jack. "We both know that neither of us can get wasted and that's why we're over here drinking together."

"Fine, you win. I'm just surprised by everything you have become." Miranda stared at her glass, being sure not to meet Jack's eyes. "You're still violent and maladjusted, but the Illusive Man would never have predicted you'd bond with the Grissom Academy kids. You _are_ growing. Despite everything Cerberus did to you. I find that…" She paused, feeling her cheeks reddening once again. "Extremely admirable."

"Wow…" Jack raised an eyebrow, slightly taken aback by the confession then regained her usual snark. "Thanks. I still really hate you, but you have fantastic tits."

Miranda laughed. "Alright. I can live with that." She looked up from her drink with scowl. "We're not going to hug or anything are we?"

"You wish," Jack shot back.

The two sat, sipping their drinks and avoiding speaking. But as the pulsating music grew louder, Jack stood up and grabbed Miranda's hand. "Come on, cheerleader. We're dancing."

Miranda yanked her hand back. "But—I—we—I can't dance!"

"If Shepard's out there, we oughta be too. Look at her!" Jack pointed to the Commander, who was shimmying back and forth, dark hair fallen out of the tight bun it usually remained in. Liara moved her body against Shepard's, fulfilling every stereotype of the asari.

The juxtaposition between their dancing abilities created a snort of laughter from Miranda. She walked with Jack over to where the dancing was taking place. For a moment, she found herself in awe of the variety of individuals brought together for this party. Shepard had managed to get humans, krogan, asari, a turian, a quarian, even a prothean together for a party, and no fights had broken out—unless head-butting between krogan counted. Cerberus would never have approved of such intermingling between the species…but Shepard…Shepard was different. She had a way of uniting individuals from all different backgrounds and helping them to work as a cohesive unit. She was truly a marvel, and Miranda was certain that if Cerberus had not brought her back, the galaxy would have no hope. Shepard provided the slight glimmer needed for the plan to succeed.

Suddenly Shepard tripped and fell on the floor, laughing at herself and repeatedly asking Liara if she had seen how hilarious it had been. Miranda chuckled, letting her deep thoughts fade away for now and began to dance. She had never been one to dance, but the amount of alcohol she had consumed had given her enough of a buzz to feel a little less inhibited. She held her arms up in the air as her body moved to the beat, the music flowing through her like a rush of biotic energy. She smiled and closed her eyes, enjoying the freedom of the moment. Hands gripped her waist from behind, and she jumped.

"That bubble butt looks good when you dance," Jack whispered in her ear. To Jack's surprise, Miranda did not stop dancing once she knew it was Jack who had grabbed her. She kept moving her hips with the beat, letting the tattooed ex-convict dance behind her. "You're not even gonna make a snarky comment, cheerleader? Come on, I expected more fr—" Miranda turned, scowled, and grabbed Jack's ponytail tightly in her hand, gaining complete control. Jack's eyes widened and she tried to pull away. She could smell the asari liquor on Miranda's breath and knew hers must smell similar. "Shit, cheerleader. I was just trying to have fun—I'll back off."

Miranda licked her lips, eying the woman in front of her. She knew what she was about to do was completely absurd…but in this moment with the buzz of alcohol, music, and biotic energy running through her body, she decided to do it anyway. Pale hands still gripping Jack's hair, Miranda pulled Jack's head toward hers then brashly pressed her lips against hers.

Jack pulled away, eyebrow raised, looking around to check if anyone else had seen. "Jesus, cheerleader," she mumbled, "maybe you _can_ get wasted after all." A smug look formed on her face.

"I am _not_ drunk. I was just taking Shepard's suggestion," replied Miranda, an equally devious look painted on her face.

Jack took her hand, and guided Miranda toward the stairs. "If we're gonna do this, we might as well not half ass it."

"For once, I agree with you."

Jack opened the door to the guest room. "HOL-EE SHIT!" she mouthed to Miranda. They were treated to the sight of Steve on his knees in front of a completely naked, moaning James. "That's hot as hell. You think they'd let us get in on that?"

Miranda pulled Jack away and closed the door. "We're getting out of here. We're going to my apartment."

"Damn. You must really need a good fucking. How long has it been since you've gotten laid?!"

"Close your mouth, Jack."


	2. Chapter 2

Miranda looked around as they walked to be sure no one saw the tattooed ex-convict walking with her to her apartment. The door closed behind them.

"So…I have to admit I've never done this before." Miranda's face reddened. "I'm sure you do this all the time though, so you'll have to show me the ropes."

Jack scowled. "You're sure I do this all the time? The fuck is that supposed to mean, bitch?"

"I didn't mean to—"

"I'm just fucking with you." Jack scoured the shelves of the apartment's kitchen. "Do you have any booze in this place?"

"If you look in the third cabinet from the—"

Jack pulled out and examined several bottles before settling on an expensive-looking tall bottle full of Russian vodka. She sat on the counter and took a long swig straight from the bottle then sighed. "Ah. It's been a while since I've had some good Earth-made booze."

Miranda bit her tongue. That was a special bottle she had been saving for a special occasion, and Jack had just put her slobbery mouth all over it. Then again, she had put her own mouth on Jack, and she hoped to do so again before the night was out. Miranda stood in front of Jack. "Hand it over. It's my turn." She hesitantly brought the bottle to her lips. "This is so uncivilized," she whispered before downing a hefty amount. Her throat burned and she felt the buzz returning. The bottle was set aside.

Jack hopped down from the counter, standing in front of Miranda, and licked her lips deviously.

"I swear to all that is holy, if you tell anyone about this—"

Jack pushed Miranda against the kitchen wall, producing a loud thud. Tattooed fingers intertwined with those of the ex-Cerberus agent's, pinning her to the wall. She kissed along the woman's strong jaw and moved down to her neck, digging her teeth into the soft white flesh.

"For the love of—!" Miranda gasped in pleasure before her eyes shot open and she remembered who was in front of her, face reddening.

"Don't pretend you don't love this, cheerleader!" Jack growled. Her left hand continued to pin Miranda as her right unzipped the skin-tight black suit, revealing her large creamy white breasts covered by a lacy black bra. Jack bit her lip as she took in the sight. "Fuck. Those tits are even more fantastic up close."

The blush from Miranda's face had begun to spread down to her chest. She pulled away from Jack's grip and began to walk toward the bedroom, the door opening automatically at her presence. Jack stripped off her own shirt and jacket then followed.

It was not surprising to Miranda that Jack's breasts and nipples were tattooed: the leather straps occasionally worn by the biotic had left little to the imagination in that department. But actually seeing Jack's hard, pierced nipples made her own begin show through the thin bra. Lust burned through her body. She wanted to feel what the woman could do to her.

"Jack…" Miranda's voice quivered. She sat down on the bed, stripping off the rest of her tight suit and letting it fall to the ground. Her eyes remained locked with Jack's.

Jack stood in front of her in just her cargo pants, raising an eyebrow. "I hope you're not having second thoughts, cheerleader. Because that test tube body is making me really fucking horn—"

Miranda lied down on the bed in just her undergarments, pulling down the lace panties slightly to reveal the thin black strip of hair. "Shut up and use me, Jack."

With a rush of biotic energy, Jack was on top of Miranda. Her teeth pulling at the other's bottom lip as she undid the bra. Her hands caressed the bare breasts before moving down to take the hard pink nipple into her mouth, sucking. Miranda cried out in pleasure, and the tattooed woman slid her hand down the front of the lacy underwear.

"Fuck, you're wet," she growled.

Miranda ripped them off, and got on her stomach, raising her bare toned ass in the air. "Shut up, Jack!" she yelled. "I said to use me!"

Jack slapped her ass, adding a little biotic energy for extra force causing a loud noise to echo throughout the bedroom. "If you really want me to use you, _you_ need to learn how to shut up and be used, bitch." A bright red handprint remained.

"Yes ma'am," Miranda whimpered submissively.

Jack stood behind Miranda as her ass hung over the bed. "Good thing I came prepared for this," she said as she pulled down her cargo pants.

"YOU WHAT?!" Miranda turned around, snapping out of her aroused stupor. She saw Jack was now wearing nothing but the latest model of a popular sex toy. Jack pressed a button on the side and activated the device causing an orange, glowing phallic object to protrude from the front of a harness. She stood up to face Jack. "You went to Shepard's party wearing a fucking omni-dick under your pants because you were planning on fucking me? Oh my god, I can't believe you!"

Jack grinned and stroked the device protruding from her crotch. "Well for your information cheerleader, I wear this to every party I go to in case of an emergency. Don't let it get to your head."

Miranda still tried to give off an air of being offended. "You are so damn arrogant, you little…" Jack pushed her back over the bed, so her ass was again raised in the air. Her complaints faded and were replaced with a low moan.

"That's right, bitch." Jack positioned her glowing appendage right at Miranda's dripping entrance, and began to push it ever so slightly inside.

"Fuck. I hate you, Jack. Just fuck me already."

Jack slapped her ass again then pushed inside her cunt. Thrusting slowly at first, then picking up speed, she grunted as the device sent vibrations to her own body, causing her own arousal.

"GOD YES!" Miranda screamed as her pussy was filled with Jack from behind. "Harder. Please!"

Jack rammed into Miranda, adding extra force to each thrust with her biotic abilities then reaching around to rub Miranda's clit at the same time. Soon, Jack felt Miranda tighten around her device as her first orgasm rolled through her body. She pulled out and pushed Miranda on her back.

"I'm not finished with you yet, Cerberus bitch." Her tongue began to circle the hard clit in front of her, eliciting more moans from the woman. Miranda's hands gripped Jack's hair as the tattooed woman's tongue began to slip inside her folds. Before long, Miranda's back arched again in complete ecstasy as Jack's tongue worked inside her.


	3. Chapter 3

Miranda straddled Jack as their lips again met, tongues playfully mingling. Their naked, sweaty bodies pressed against each other's as Miranda gently sucked on the other woman's tongue. Jack slipped a finger inside her wet entrance as she did.

Suddenly Miranda's comlink buzzed. Shepard was calling. "Fuck!" Miranda shouted. "Jack get out of my bed! I have to answer this!" Jack rolled away onto the floor as Miranda pulled on a robe and answered the call.

"Shepard, this really isn't a good time. Is this important?"

"Oh, I was just wondering where you were, Miranda. You left pretty early last night. Did you even see the krogan fight?" the commander asked, sounding a bit hung over.

"I'm sorry I missed it. I was just really tired, and I have a lot to do today, so I should get…"

"It was a really incredible fight. I'm sorry _you_ missed it. Also, have you seen Jack anywhere? She would have loved it!"

"Right here, Commander!" chimed Jack, still naked, hopping into view and lazily saluting the holo image of Shepard.

"I'm going to kill you," Miranda breathed.

Shepard's eyes widened in the image, and she broke out laughing. "I can't believe I was right about you two! _Liara, you aren't going to believe this_!" The holo call was ended.

Miranda biotic shoved Jack off the bed then sat atop her with a glowing fist raised in her face. "You are such a goddamn child, Jack! It was completely unnecessary to give Shepard that bit of information about our activities!"

"What the fuck are you gonna do? Punch me?" Jack smirked. "You screamed my name as you came last night."  
Miranda put her fist down and made her way to a chair across the room, crossing her legs. "I did not…well technically…but…" she stammered, face reddening.

Jack walked away to the kitchen then came back with the bottle of vodka pressed to her lips.

"Jesus, Jack. It's only 9 in the morning," Miranda grunted only to receive a tattooed middle finger raised her direction. She decided it would be easier to just let the woman drink.

Jack put the bottle on the nightstand and glared at the other woman. "So I get that we're on the same team now, and the Reapers are coming soon, so _carpe fucking diem_…but why hook up with _me_? If you're looking for your fling with a woman, why not Traynor? She has great tits."

Miranda bit her lip. "Get your clothes on, Jack. It's time for you to leave."

"Come on, cheerleader! Just admit that you've been wanting to fuck me for a while! I've got enough balls to admit_ I _thought about bending you over your desk a few times while we were on the Normandy!"

Miranda raised Jack's clothes in the air with a biotic pull then chucked them at the naked woman. As Jack reluctantly put them on, Miranda leaned down to whisper into her ear. "You know me well enough to know I won't give you that satisfaction."

Now clothed, Jack faced Miranda once more. Her face had grown somber. "Well, this might be the last time we see each other, so I guess maybe we should—"

Miranda pulled her into a passionate kiss, running her hands through the tattooed woman's hair before breaking it off suddenly to look into the woman's eyes. "Don't you dare die, Jack. You are going to lead those Grissom Academy kids and become a legend."

"Shit. If they make a statue of me, I hope they get my tits right. You've gotta make sure they get my tits right."

"I'm serious Jack!"

"I know you are. Keep your bubble butt safe too, so we can do this again, cheerleader."

She flashed a cocky smile then waved as she headed toward the exit, bottle of vodka still in hand.


End file.
